Gay Marriage

Someone asked me the other day what I thought about gay marriage.  I laughed.  "Better you ask me what I think about marriage in general," I said and launched into the following lecture.

Marriage is a legal and binding contract regarding property rights.  It has nothing to do with love or sex or children.  Well, the children part is wrong.  It has everything to do with children inheriting property.  That's why, if you're not married, the kid is a bastard and isn't entitled to anything - which has created a huge market for attorneys in this post-women's lib, drop your drawers society we now live in.

If a person writes a will, he/she can leave their property to anyone they want.  They can set up whatever trust they like for whoever they want.  But if you don't have a will, marriage a.k.a. property laws prevail.      

So when you're signing on the dotted line for a marriage license, forget about love and sex and cheating and a family and happy home and all the other mushy stuff people get married for today, and think about what that contract really means which is - who gets the house and the cars and the kids and who gets to visit in the hospital and who gets to make decisions for you when you're sick.

Personally, I don't care if Fido and Bowzer get married to insure their dog houses are inherited by the right partner.  So if two guys or two gals want a legal and binding marriage contract to protect property rights, more power to them.  But, please . . . please . . . please . . . if you're a woman don't introduce me to your partner as your wife or your husband.  That's screwed up!!

Wife is a woman.  Husband is a man.  Those titles are achieved when a man and woman get married.  Fido and Bowzer, Susie and Sally, Ben and Burt have PARTNERS!  But that's my opinion, and I'm old - thank goodness - and I still believe in waiters and waitresses, chairmen and chairwomen and mailmen and mail-ladies.